ADAPTATION?

Its been little over three months since my permanent move to Abruzzo, Italy and I am surprised at how quickly I have adapted my habits and expectations to my new environment. During previous long-term stays in Europe my acceptance of "off-habits" did not come so easily, probably due to some subconscious awareness that I could soon desert those cultural norms in favor of my home culture.

When I first arrived, I was thoroughly irked that I had to drink my coffee in less than 2 minutes, all the while standing at the bar elbow-to-elbow with all kinds of strangers. And, don't even get me started about the driving here! I thought I was going die the first couple of weeks I spent in a car here (most likely by attack since I wanted to scream at people who seemed to have a death wish by driving on the wrong side of the road).

I'll admit there was some serious resistance to the reintroduction of simple carbs back into my diet and to say I didn't look down my nose at those who drowned their food in olive oil, would be a flat out lie. But, now I eat pasta AT LEAST once a day, and most of the time its floating in olive oil. I like it and have stopped my criticism since my cholesterol and pant size seems to be in-check. I have also begun to reciprocate the once annoying 3x repetition of "ciao, ciao, ciao" and the well-wishing of every miniscule activity "good sunday" "good lunch" "good work"??? At least they are polite..

This new level of comfort dawned on me yesterday when I darted into a bar in between a doctor's appointment and a run to the store. I parked my chest at the bar and ordered a "caffe normale". **Yes, I still need to add the normale because when they hear my american accent they assume I want a caffe americano if I just say caffe***I sipped it down in about 30 seconds, paid and was on my way. Not once during this entire transaction did I silently curse the lack of to-go cups or a proper spot to sit. I was actually glad that I could fit in a caffeine fix. This is progress!

Then, today my suspicion that I was slowly adapting and assimilating was officially confirmed. Parking is hard to come by in this city once the summer starts. I darted against oncoming traffic when I saw a spot on the other side of the street. Just to make a u-turn is a logistical nightmare here and I was stoked to find a spot at all so I didn't even hesitate to play chicken with the approaching Mercedes E Class (which definitely outweighs my car by a long shot). I parked facing the wrong way, quite illegally I might add, and was able to run in to get my errand accomplished. Who cares about the brush with death compared to spending 20 more minutes circling decrepit one-way streets which were designed for hot-wheels sized cars.

Of course there are a few adaptations I have yet to make and maybe I will never make. I am still a firm believer in bagels and keeping a variety of ethnic foods at your finger-tips. I still think that closing your store all morning on Monday for your "weekly rest" after you just were closed all day on Sunday is absolutely stupid and downright lazy and I really would love to see people stop throwing their cigarette butts on the ground right next to an ash tray.

Who knows, maybe in a couple more months I'll be drinking Grappa and eating Mazzarella. (Yuck!)

New Slang

NEW SLANG - AN ESOTERIC DISCUSSION

When I abandoned my life and set out in search of something more fulfilling, I vowed to take more time doing things that I liked, not just things that had to get done. For the first time ever I find myself on the internet for things other than imperatives.

Although I have always loved music and it moves me in a way that absolutely nothing else can, I never had time to evaluate the lyrics and meaning from the artists perspective. Now that I'm living my 2.0 life, I have begun to take a closer look at a couple of my favorite songs and am blown away at how they touch at the core of life. Some of them are modern day poetry. What's even better is that I discovered a whole host of people who discuss more meaningful things like this on the internet. How cool is that! Its like I'm experiencing all the cool elective classes in college that I never had the pleasure of taking.

Without further adieux and at the risk of sounding like some crazy groupie, I must introduce one of the most powerful songs ever which happens to coincide with my current struggle .....I surmise I will continue to grapple with this issue as time goes on....

If you have not heard the song New Slang, then please listen to it before you read on. Its too great to miss.

Below I have broken down each verse/stanza, but I want your feedback. There are some things that really could go another direction so I could use your help. Come on, this will be fun!

Gold teeth and a curse for this town were all in my mouth.
Only, i don't know how they got out, dear.
Turn me back into the pet that i was when we met.
I was happier then with no mind-set.

And if you'd 'a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, i'd 'a jumped from my tree
And i'd a danced like the king of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

New slang when you notice the stripes, the dirt in your fries.
Hope it's right when you die, old and bony.
Dawn breaks like a bull through the hall,
Never should have called
But my head's to the wall and i'm lonely.

And if you'd 'a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, i'd 'a jumped from my tree
And i'd a danced like the king of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

God speed all the bakers at dawn may they all cut their thumbs,
And bleed into their buns 'till they melt away.

I'm looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find.
Without a trust or flaming fields am i too dumb to refine?
And if you'd 'a took to me like
Well i'd a danced like the queen of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

So, to me, this song is all about the crash that occurs when we discover the world as it really is. Once he was nieve and he didn't know how he became enlightened but he wishes he could remain the fool he once was. (Sort of like crawling back inside Plato's cave).

He talk about the few who get to be special (with money and power) or with a noble cause to define their lives, but most of us, including him, are the working masses that work ourselves to the bone who cannot find the better life we seek.

Below, I have broken down the versus and my thoughts on each verse. But, I wanted to leave it untainted above so each reader could take a look for themselves before I contaminate their thinking.

Gold teeth and a curse for this town were all in my mouth.

Gold teeth are a sign of a good life in most countries, including India which he refers to later. He didn't know how good he had it so he was unthankful for the small mind he had.

Only, i don't know how they got out, dear.

He is not sure exactly where he saw the world differently.

Turn me back into the pet that i was when we met.
I was happier then with no mind-set.

He wishes he could go back to the naivety that kept him from seeing how brutal and empty life is.

And if you'd 'a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.

Well, i'd 'a jumped from my tree
And i'd a danced like the king of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

This is great. He is saying if we would have kept this lost love of his, his love for her would have been enough to blind him from the clear sight (from the prospective of the top of a tree where he can see everything). He would have gladly lived as a fool in love and they would have never known truth.

New slang when you notice the stripes, the dirt in your fries.

Slang is a new label for the same old thing. He is now in a new class of people who get what life really is. He is saying they are prisoners, they wear stripes. And adults - who are more aware than children who would gladly eat off the floor (like a pet, which he used to be) - would never notice the dirt they are eating on something that is supposed to be so good.

"definition of slang" its "slang" if it meets at least two of the following criteria:

• It lowers, if temporarily, "the dignity of formal or serious speech or writing"; in other words, it is likely to be considered in those contexts a "glaring misuse of register."
• Its use implies that the user is familiar with whatever is referred to, or with a group of people who are familiar with it and use the term.
• "It is a taboo term in ordinary discourse with people of a higher social status or greater responsibility."
• It replaces "a well-known conventional synonym". This is done primarily to avoid the discomfort caused by the conventional item or by further elaboration.^[1]

Hope it's right when you die, old and bony.

Maybe here he shows a glimmer of hope about finding contentment or some closure when you die your uneventful death after a long hard life.

Dawn breaks like a bull through the hall,
Never should have called
But my head's to the wall and i'm lonely.

He is in pain from his awakening and from his discovery that he could have avoided the awakening through love. He called his love because he is struggling.

And if you'd 'a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, i'd 'a jumped from my tree
And i'd a danced like the king of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

God speed all the bakers at dawn may they all cut their thumbs,
And bleed into their buns 'till they melt away.

LOVE THIS PART. He is showing compassion for all the hard-working people who get up early trying to catch an edge every morning. The buns are the bakers work, and it drains all of the blood out of you until you silently pass out of this world

I'm looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find.

Without a trust or flaming fields am i too dumb to refine?
And if you'd 'a took to me like
Well i'd a danced like the queen of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

This was tough, and I actually did some research on this stanza before coming to a conclusion.

He sees that some people do have a content life. Those with money (a trust) don't have to be worked to the bone so maybe they can dedicate a lifetime to self-realization and other more important things. And, flaming fields refers to a cause to which you can be dedicated which makes your life worth living. Its not monotonous. - unlike a baker or a prisoner. It has value. Without these things, he can't find meaning. He can't refine himself. To refine is:

1 : to free (as metal, sugar, or oil) from impurities or unwanted material
2 : to free from moral imperfection : elevate
3 : to improve or perfect by pruning or polishing
4 : to reduce in vigor or intensity

5 : to free from what is coarse, vulgar, or uncouth

Specifically. The flaming fields refers to a specific conflict in India which was a class war over control of land/wealth. The Marxists were attempting to gain control of the land since they were the ones working the land.

Again, this class war reference refers to money so maybe he is saying he will remain uncouth or unpolished without money or economic freedom.

(See http://www.bihartimes.com/articles/dbandyopadhyay/flamingfields.html)

WOULD LOVE TO KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS POEM/SONG. DO YOU THINK ITS ABOUT A LOST LOVE THAT HE CANNOT HAVE? DO YOU THINK HE FEELS MONEY WOULD BRING THE FREEDOM HE IS LOOKING FOR? IS IT ABOUT A CLASS WAR? IS HE HOPEFUL THAT HAPPINESS WILL BE ATTAINED.

How long do I have to wait for PATIENCE!

At 33 years old, I am still having a really hard time attaining patience. I know its a noble characteristic and I admire those who have more than a three minute fuse before they explode. But frankly I go from zero to sixty when I have to wait or when someone doesn't perform to my specifications. Not only do I lack patience, but I am damn selfish too. There are millions of people in need and how many of them could I help each day, if I only tried a little harder and shifted my focus towards the needs of others....hence tying into the need for patience that comes with compassion and empathy for another's position.

How many times do we gloss over things about which we should be grateful, big and small alike. Thanks for lunch, thanks to mom for giving up her career to raise you, thank you for letting me merge into your lane, thanks to our children for being good, thanks to our bosses for keeping us employed in a tight economy...

Conversely, we focus on the parts of the day when don't go exactly as we believe they should, which at the end of the day leaves you feeling exhausted, frustrated and overwhelmed.

As parents and as a society we expect children to have patience, to be generous and to always use their manners. Its off with their heads if they deviate from these mandates: their prized possessions get shelved, they get put on the sidelines for a "time out", or they get a quick dose of corporeal punishment. Ouch!

Why do we expect so much of our children if we don't expect the same from the adults who are presumably setting the example? When was the last time a grown-up was truly generous with another, or forced to share something that he cherished most, and with a complete stranger, at that? e.g. like a child being made to share their favorite doll with a strange kid at the park? We would never hold ourselves to these standards. The more typical response would be something like the following: "its mine, I paid for it, he can spend his own money if he wants one". Right?

But, how are we imparting wisdom on our children if we act differently than we preach. And why do we insist that they maintain characteristics that we have long since disposed of ourselves. We need to make a choice as to whether they are truly worthy characteristics, and if so, then we need to uphold them ourselves. If a three year old can be patient and polite even when they have skipped a nap , then why can't we?

If we collectively decided that these are worthy traits, I can only imagine what a better world it would be if we each occasionally said to someone in need, "I noticed that your car has been giving you trouble, would you like to borrow mine until you can afford a new one?" or "I just went to Costco, surely you and your hungry children can use some extra food. I could never eat it all before it expired?" At some point, all of us would surely be on the receiving end of such behaviors which would warm the cockles of our dehydrating hearts and maybe provide further inspiration for change.

And as for patience, I will admit that my daughter is more patient than I am. When I tell her to wait until I finish working before I can play a game memory, she waits quietly 20-30 minutes for me to finish. But, I would never wait that long for her to do what I asked. Wouldn't it be better if we could just let things happen at their own pace and embraced the understanding that life is overwhelming and we are all doing the best we can. With a little patience one can step away from a life that is driven by your schedule and we begin to see the people behind the task.

The moral of the story is this - If we teach and practice compassion, patience is the return on our investment. For we must conceptualize the needs and sacrifices of others in order to understand why things cannot always be dictated by our own needs.

The Ice Was Getting Thinner....Death Cab for Cutie

We're not the same, dear, as we used to be
The seasons have changed and so have we
There was little we could say and even less that we could do
To stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you

We buried our love in the wintery grave
A lump in the snow was all that remained
But we stayed by its side, as the days turned to weeks
And the ice kept getting thinner with every word that we'd speak

When the spring arrived, we were taken by surprise
When the flows under our feet bled into the sea
And nothing was left for you and me

We're not the same dear and it seems to me
There's nowhere we can go with nothing underneath
Then it saddens me to say what we both knew was true
That the ice was getting thinner under me and you

The ice was getting thinner under me and you.

---

It is hard not to mourn the death of something you have nurtured. But, with the passing of one thing comes the opening of your heart, time and space for something new and hopefully more beautiful. After all when a relationship dies, it usually means it was sick. Is it better to hold onto what is not working or releasing yourself (and others) to experience something more satisfying. Life is short and we should live it to the fullest, even when that means venturing off to the unknown, alone, for the rewards are certainly worth the risk.

carole king - beautiful

Time - the key ingredient to so many italian dishes

For ages I could not figure out why italian food tasted so damn good. I scrutinized the ingredients and they are all the same ingredients I use at home, but theirs just always tasted better. After years of analyzation and months of watching a seasoned Italian chef go to work on a daily basis (Thanks Grazia!) I think I figured it out. The key ingredient is TIME; not Thyme the spice, but actually just letting the flavors meld together.

See, time is the one thing that many modern cooks simply do not have. We rush home from work, tired and under pressure to put something on the table before we fall off our feet. I am a Rachel Ray-type girl myself with a host of meals up my sleeve that are ready to serve in 30 minutes or less, although I like to think my food is healthier than hers. Here in Italy, the great thing is that the food is healthy and it tastes great; although I am the first to admit that the meals here are not exactly light in the calorie department.* And I still haven't figured out the whole skinny phenomenon with all the pasta and oil consumption going on around here!

Since lunch is the main meal here, I can walk out of the house for my morning cup of cappuccino and I already smell food cooking. But, since the meals are so straightforward with so few ingredients, I couldn't figure out why people were slaving away at the crack of dawn. I observed that everything gets put together at 9 or 10 a.m. and is left on the stove or in the oven for a good 2-3 hours. Seriously, where I am from nobody except Julia Child and Mario Batali cooks for 3 freaking hours. But, its not as hard as it sounds; once the food is in the pot its just about checking in on the heat and stirring every 20 minutes or so.....Hey, I can do that!

Case in point/Minestrone Recipe:
I made Minestrone from scratch the other day and it was a great experience. First of all, I just headed downstairs to my local grocer and said "give me everything I need for Minestrone" as I was instructed to do. Nobody wrote down the recipe because they said just tell your grocer you are making minestrone and he'll help you. The produce guy, Diego, grabbed a few fava beans, a couple asparagus, some fresh peas (I'd never seen them in the pod before and I consider myself a health nut!), spinach, a potato, cauliflower, a bunch of bietola (similar to spinach), carrots, zucchini, borlotti beans, and a small bag of pasta into a large bag. "That's it", he said. "Tell me how it turns out, dear".

I was always under the impression that you need to make a broth and add a ton of herbs to make a good soup, but it turns out that if you cook your food awhile it actually makes its own broth and few spices are needed. For the most part I threw everything in boiling water (except the leafy greens and pasta) and let it simmer for 1.5 hours, then I added the pasta and leafy greens and that was that! Topped with parmigiano it was a masterpiece. The same goes for so many simple pasta sauces that are 2-3 ingredients just left to simmer for an hour or two.

Now, I have made soups a million times before and they always tasted healthy and bland. I have made soup with these same ingredients but after watching people here, I learned that I had to wait for the food to be ready and not the other way around.

The travesty in my revelation is that time is the one ingredient that is very hard to come by these days. Just like anything else in life, time to cook needs to be made a priority. I can only attempt to sway the reader into adding this essential ingredient by adding that eating a diet of fresh, homemade food has more benefits than tasting good. The entire family looks and feels better almost over night and that is a reward that will continue to bless you for many days and years ahead, if you are lucky enough not to be hit by a car.