To My Friends Of Old....

Neil Young said it best, "One of these days I'm going to sit down and write a long letter to all the good friends I've known. And, I'm going to try to thank them all for the good times together, though so apart we've grown. . . .And I never tried to burn any bridges, but I know I've let some good things go. . . . From down in LA all the way to nashville to nyc to my canadian prairie home. My friends are scattered like leaves from an old maple. Some are weak, some are strong." 

So, on this Thanksgiving Day, and in fact on many other days, I do think of YOU, the people that have touched my life whether it was two years ago or twenty years ago. I remember you and appreciate the time that we spent together. And, occasionally while I am in the midst of my monotonous daily tasks, a passer by will see a big grin spread wide across my face. What they don't know is that I'm smiling because something has prompted me to a certain memory of you. Some may think its strange that something so distant in time and space can make me happy, but it does.

In a perfect world, we would still have time to sit around and laugh or cry together like we did in the days before, but like old Neil I've moved around a lot and so have many of you. We are distant not just in space, but we have found ourselves in different sectors of life: kids, job, hobbies, single, family, and so on.

It's been such a pleasure watching so many people grow up and become the amazing people I imagined they would be. The one redeeming factor of Facebook is allowing me to be a small part of your lives, if only through the internet.

Just know this, I consider myself lucky. I have had a great life thus far and mostly that is attributable to my friends and family.  So today I simply write - thank you for the good times we've had. They are not forgotten. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Desperately Seeking Susan

Today I was thinking about how drastically the world has changed in the last couple of decades. We owe these social changes to a global geo-economic-political world, vast advances in technology, and the transition of women out of the house and into the work place. This Brave New World has allowed us to stay in constant contact and dedicate numerous hours to work of all kinds. It has brought us cheap goods and a million things to do with our time. However, our society is suffering some major side effects from these advancements, not the least of which is a lack of human connection.

We spend so much time distracted, like kids in a candy store, and then we ask ourselves why we feel alone and isolated? Humans are social creatures who chose to live in villages, create matrimony, and share stories around the campfire. So why is it that our generation has managed to moved farther and farther from their home towns, opting instead to go it alone? Why is it that we have not called or spent time with our best friends for weeks or months? We all have our various on-hand excuses, most of which are legitimate.

But now, through these social mediums on the internet, you see people trying to reach out and connect with one another in cyberspace, even if its just to connect on a very superficial level. Remember that random trend of "planking" that spread through the world on the internet. It was something so simple, yet people all around the world - rich, poor, young, old, drunk or sober - posted pictures of themselves planking on the site? Wasn't it simply to reach out and say, "I am here too". "I am a participant."

Or, what about Facebook? There are hundreds of people who search out classmates from better years just to tell them that they had a great time at the zoo with their kids or that they are feeling frustrated. The bottom line is that all of us are basically the same (or at least 99% of us ;). So the question is whether the cyber connections that people have these days are filling the void that so many people are obviously feeling. And, if not then I would argue that you can't expect 296 "friends" to care that you went to the zoo, unless you have invested some of your energy connecting to them. That is what sets apart friends from strangers.

I do believe that these cyber interactions are better than nothing, but it certainly doesn't feel as good as getting together with those you love for a brunch or a couple of cocktails....on a regular basis rather than once a year. The answer, you ask? In order to feel connected, loved, understood, we would need to identify "our people" and share openly and honestly with them....regularly. In turn, we would also need to "be there" for them. This would probably mean giving up the many acquaintances we have collected over the years and opt for fewer, deeper relationships. In a world of distraction, this may prove difficult as I believe many of us have lost the ability to concentrate on anything, even if it is something we so desperately need.